Deadened Survival

Can you keep your word even though it is killing you or would you choose to survive?

 

 Despite my best efforts, I can't seem to get the words to come out when I want to speak the truth. I'm deafeningly quiet. I can't, no matter how hard I try, breach the commitment I made that day.

 As part of my dare, I was strolling along the desolate street when I overheard screaming coming from deep into the jungle. I turned toward the noise. I was determined to bring that young girl's killers to justice when I came upon a heinous act. That little girl was murdered and raped right in front of me. They stank of alcohol, and the creatures I was watching were devoid of guilt. They were touching the corpse in front of them without even realizing the female in front of them had passed away. The horrific screams parched the girl's throat and spirit, and she ended up passing tragically. The twig beneath me jerked abruptly, alerting them to my presence. I crouched behind the tree, my eyes were smudged with tears, and my breathing was labored. I was discovered. I swear they have keen senses.

 One of them yelled, "You were not supposed to see that.

The other howled, "Seems like we've got one more piece of meat to devour."

They grinned and cackled evilly.

"Leave me alone, please. I have done nothing to you. Please don't hurt me," I pleaded.

The hardest part was crying and pleading with those demons to spare me. 

One of them must have recognized me, but I'm not sure how. My life was all I could think of while I wailed in a daze. 

 They promised not to touch me and to spare me if I would remain silent and not tell anyone about this. I was hesitant to answer because doing so would have meant that I was saving these beasts, even in the blur.  One of them started to move slowly in my direction as soon as they felt the energy shift. Everything in my life appeared in a flash. I realized I had to choose between remaining silent and possibly risking my own life versus speaking out as the creature drew closer to me. I was aware that there would be danger in speaking up, but I was also worried about the repercussions of remaining silent.

How could I trade my body, even if it screams for justice?

 I ultimately came to the conclusion that it would be wiser to strike a bargain with the devil and pray that it would shield me from any harm.

In the end, I maintained my vow and declared, "My LIPS ARE SEALED."

 I despise myself for being unable to break the four words that wrecked me.