Suicide- A Redemption?

Suicide is described via self-love, however ironic!

  

And yet again, I was being selfish. Selfish for my own self!

I would rather believe my suicide as my only salvation, the only thing which I chose for myself. My whole life I cared a little too much about people's opinions, and ignored a lot too much about my views. Terminating my life would be the only answer.

 I took this step to prove that it's okay to love yourself a little more and be selfish about what you want. Even if that want would leave my loved ones in tears. But I'm sure they'll know how much they mean to me. I'm sure they wouldn't judge my decisions and my love for them in this act. I hope they understand that I'm tired and can't hold this anymore. I hope they'll forgive me and try to understand why I did what I did! 

 Slaughtering myself on the dias just to feel good about the choice that I made is JUST FOR ME! Even if people would call this act a crazy dumb idea and would label me as a 'coward'-- deep down I know, this is my way of redemption and imprisonment.

 I know this is never a solution. But how can I make myself alive when I've no will to live? How can I escape knowing I'd be in the matrix of life forever? I'm not running away from my problems. Rather, I've faced it and fought for it like a brave soldier. Why would people judge me if they know I've done everything, done with my responsibilities and duties? But now, I want to skip everything and just be at peace. I'm not sorry for this choice. I wanted it. 

Please remember me as someone who's brave enough to self-slaughter and cling to an olive branch. I'd watch over you but please after my demise, don't judge this choice or I'd be forever cursed. Let me taste the 'quiet' without any fears. 

Allow me to relish the death of my will. Signing off for good.