Taking a leap of faith. Again

June 27, 2023

Taking a leap of faith. Again

Watching you was my favorite pastime.

As the days passed, I saw him become more involved with me. He doesn't know I watch him every day. I watched him break because God took me away. He showed me more and more of his love, despite not knowing that I existed in the shadows. I witnessed his suffering, yet I couldn't do anything to stop it, as God had another plan for me. It hurt to see him suffering because of me. I wanted him to move on, and I finally saw those signs. I prayed for his happiness, and I saw hope in his eyes. Again. He was slowly healing, and I was happy for him. I knew that soon he would finally be able to move on. This experience is like watching a flower slowly bloom, opening up to the sunlight after being in the darkness for so long. You can see it start to unfurl, and you can feel its growth as its petals start to spread. Its colors start to come to life, and you can feel its strength getting stronger. You can rejoice in its beauty, knowing that it is slowly being reborn.

The time has come for me to return to my afterlife; I'm no longer stuck here. I could feel the chains of guilt and regret slowly disappearing as I saw his newfound joy and the peace on his face. It was time for me to make my own journey and leave this place behind. Finally, after all these years of death, I was alive and saw him. It was as if a thick fog of sadness and despair had been lifted, allowing me to finally breathe in the sweet air of freedom. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the cool breeze of a fresh start blowing around me. I was finally home again.

I could taste our different lives. I know our paths are different now, and that's okay. Because I know, I would meet you someday, soon. But, until then, you've got to live, and I've got to wait.

I was busy with his breath, it was just a result of his pain. I’m selfish too. I held on to that pain so I could feel it. But I also knew I should have been his source of happiness and strength and let him pass. I wasn’t prepared then. I still am not. But that’s the right thing to do. Now, I'm ready to be that source of happiness and strength. I'm ready to let him go and be the reason for his freedom. I'm ready to let him move on and be the one to make his dreams come true.

He would always have a place in my heart and treasure the same place in mine, I know. Taking care of someone doesn't mean you can't make another place for others who can be with you and share a life with you. We can never forget our first love, but there's still room for new ones. We can learn, grow, and find happiness in another relationship without forgetting the old ones. Love is an ever-evolving process, and we can always find joy in it. It's like the idea of building a house—you can have a great foundation from your first love, but you can continue to add to it to make it even stronger with someone new. Although it will never erase past memories, it can still create a beautiful home.

Even though he wanted my piece, he learned to keep it in a safe corner, and I'm happy for him. And I'm sure this home will bring new memories and joy to his life. He was able to move on with comfort, knowing that his home was now filled with the memories of our time together. He was able to take the lessons he learned and apply them in his new home. It was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, taking his memories and experiences from the past and using them to build something new and better for himself.